Friday, July 18, 2014

HOMESICK!!

Monday July 14--Day 6!
Oh Hey,
So today has been interesting.  Sister Singleton vented to me today.  She is struggling with her companion.  Then earlier, I bawled to Sister De Leon and she said she was feeling the same way I was.  It has been a good day, but it finished hard.  Today was Good-Bye to Elder Ping and Huges.  It was sad and they have been so kind and awesome.  Elder Hughes calls me "Sister Barrymore".  HA! I told him I get that all the time and he was like "you will probably get a lot of investigators looking like that" and I was like "uh...thanks but you probably shouldn't say that?'  He was like "I wasn't trying to be that way, sorry!"  It was totally awkward.
    What did I learn today? I will tell you communicating is key.  We got a lot of frustration out.  But are we still friends?
    Alss, I find I pray a lot for things but I don't ACT.  If you want patience, you have to practice patience.  You want to be kind, you have to practice kindness.  Anything you want to be or develop, you have to practice.  You can't ask Heavenly Father for help and you then sit on your butt. I have always known that, but all of the sudden the light bulb went off.  So each week I'm going to focus on one quality I want to develop, and work on it. What are your goals?

Letter to Mom:
Thanks for much for the packages.  Things were really hard today, but it is almost bed time and tomorrow is a new day.  Even if you drive by the MTC you wouldn't see us because they kep us locked inside all day.  John called it a Spirit Prison.  I'm starting to agree.
     Thank you for writing me.  It is fun to get notes.  Thanks for the stickers too!
I love you, It is days like this I regret being here and just want to come home.  But that is a bad attitude.  The Lord is good at showing you where you SUCK!  But He is good at magnifying your strengths.  We pray for strength to endure, never ask the Lord to take away your trials, he is preping you, teaching you, so he won't take it away, but he will give you strength to endure, to help you through it.  He won't do it for us, but he will walk with us.

Letter to Dad:
Today has been rough.  We got to meet/teach our first TRC (training resource center) investigator.  Scared me to death.  W didn't even teach him anything, but what we were suppose to teach him was faith in Jesus Christ. Earlier in class I skimmed it in Preach My Gospel and had to teach it to my companion.  I said one thing and she just bust out with all these questions, she made some good points, but now, something I felt I knew seems so unfamiliar to me and my confidence went down the drain.  I feel like Sister De Leon was pushing ME to teach it and I kept telling her I didn't know how, what the heck do I say?  So we got in there and he talked the entire time, but at the end I asked him to read Alma 32 and his response just seemed condescending and I felt SO stupid.  He is a Roman Catholic and I feel like he is one that will argue or whatever and now I feel like I don't want to go back.  And Sister De Leon is like "Oh! I love him...blah, blah, blah" and I'm like "No", but I feel like I want to back out just because it is hard and I'm scared and that 's not a good excuse to quit, even if I could.  I'm absolutely terrified.  I have to teach hime again tomorrow. YAH!
    Plus on top of that, I am now in a trio.  Sister Bingham, her companion had to go home for medical reasons and she was suppose to leave today but her flight got canceled.  So it just kinda threw everything off.
     I think all the Sisters here are stressed and frustrated.  And we all know it but we don't want to talk. I feel like today is just like "ok, take me home now. Thanks".